MEDITATION: Call by Michael Kennedy

Posted on September 27, 2012

From The Jesus Meditations: A Guide for Contemplation

The Grace

To hear the ways Jesus calls me in my life and to be willing and courageous enough to answer yes to his call.

The Scripture

After Jesus was arrested, Jesus went into Galilee and began preaching the Good News of God. He said, “The time has come; the kingdom of God is at hand. Change your ways and believe the Good News.”

As Jesus was walking along the shore of Lake Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net in the lake, for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” At once, they left their nets and followed him. Jesus went a little farther on and saw James and John, the sons of Zebedee; they were in their boat mending their nets. Immediately, Jesus called them and they followed him, leaving their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men.

The Meditation

it was still dark
above there were
a few stars left
most had disappeared
sitting
staring out
at the breaking of small waves
against the rocks
the sound constant
thinking of the last night
trying to fish
as i threw in
the nets last night
i kept hearing jesus’ words
throw in the nets
throw in your life
what was he talking about?
i was happy with my life
i was secure
had a good family
a good living
i could not wish for more
throw in the nets
throw in your life

i did not really know
what i was going to get
myself involved in
when i started
months ago
to sit
and listen to jesus
as he talked to the people
now feel
we are becoming friends
but he is demanding
he doesn’t settle for things
to be mediocre
throw in the nets
throw in your life
thinking of these words
as they flowed
through my mind
again and again
trying to enter my heart

suddenly felt
the presence of jesus
next to me
it was still dark
but i could tell
the day was struggling
to make an appearance
jesus greeted me
i was surprised
by this appearance
remember the moment
as if it were yesterday

he looks at me
are you ready peter
to throw in your nets?
to throw in your life?
are you ready?
are you ready to follow me?
am i ready to throw in the nets?
to find out what they bring
by following you jesus?
felt great emotion
at this moment
thinking of my life
of my security
to follow you?
to go with you?
what would that mean?
know my life
would be totally different
reflecting
listening to the waves
feeling
the dawn
come upon us

jesus
during this last month
i have spent time with you
have watched you carefully
know
when someone speaks
from the heart
speaks
from a place of truth
or is fooling the people
during these years
here in this village
we have had
so many false leaders
i know the condition
of our people
i have been seeking someone
who can help us
i walk home after fishing
think and think
want to do something
but have never known
how to do it

jesus
since i have known you
i feel
i could one day be moved
to throw my nets in
with you
not too sure
what will happen
at the depths
you will bring me to
but even now
just sitting here with you
there is something
happening within my heart

peter
i need to go
to another village
i need to be there by noon
will you come with me?
here was the moment
i looked at jesus
into his eyes
they were serious
they were inviting
looking inside myself
knew if i said yes
there was no turning back
the nets would be thrown
in forever
but i was feeling something else
that was giving me the strength
to say yes
i was feeling a love strong
flowing through my heart
watching the sun now appear
over the mountains
in the background
watching the birds
diving in and out
of the water
feeling that a love
was drawing me

i said in a voice
that came from
a very deep place
yes jesus
i will go with you now
know where that village is
know the problems
they are having
it is going to be challenging
to be there

i had said yes
the sun was coming up higher
over the mountains

yes
i never retreated
having said those words
that left my mouth
could feel jesus
was happy
i had said yes
his face lit up
after i said that simple word
yes
was glad i would be able
to help this one
was moved that
he wanted me
to be part of his group

we began walking along
the shore
leaving the nets folded
feeling
as if bigger nets
had been thrown
into this lake
i was not too sure
what was going to happen
that day
we went to the village
after that our group traveled
every day together
met many people
some who were suffering
greatly
i learned so much
from jesus
after saying yes
i really never understood
what that would mean
just like
i never know
never fully know
what i will be doing
in the future

now looking back
after all these years
now sitting at this spot
here at the lake
where jesus
asked me this question
when i said yes
what i am feeling
is gratitude
never did i think
it would be possible
to have my life filled
with so many powerful experiences
it was not easy
there were constant pressures
there were constant conflicts
it was not a problem-free life
but what happened
now looking back
during these years
is i am grateful
i can see the faces
of the people
that were part of our group
jesus drew them in
tried to explain
his message
it always seemed
we really never understood
the full meaning of his message
sometimes it seemed
that everyone
was grasping it
but it was so challenging
i think that some
did not want to understand
because
they would have to change
i think back
to the people
i have met
to the healings
the spiritual moments
the times
when jesus left me
on my own
the insecurity i felt
at first
here i was a fisherman
and i was dealing
with matters
that confounded the mind
the complexity
the degree of anguish
that the people suffer